Contingency


Told at a young age
That you're totally
Depraved,

Yet still a nominee
To receive
Eternity.

O, hallelujah,
You hypochondriac.

O, hippocampus,
Remember what you lack.

Told at a young age
You'll be called up
On stage.

If you don't like your task,
Just ask that this cup
Might pass.

O, Adonai,
Save the spotlight for me.

On you, we rely
To believe we're worthy.


To set the tone, I recommend listening to these beeps and bops.

This poem is essentially about the tragedy of Total Depravity and Unconditional Election, the first two doctrines of the Five Points of Calvinism.

At the time of writing this, I was playing through the Mana Series. In Secret of Mana, the protagonist is exiled as a kid for pulling out the mythical sword protecting his village. He later learns that monsters didn't start appearing because he pulled out the sword, but that when monsters appeared he was chosen to pull out the sword to protect the world.

The plight of this boy is akin to the situation Christ may have found himself in. He was rejected by his hometown in a similar fashion, seen not as a prophet to fulfill the law, but simply as the son of Joseph.

I found both situations to be similar still to the spiritual struggle Protestants wrestle with; simultaneously condemned for their sins, yet chosen for salvation. Such cognitive dissonance oft gives rise to an inferiority complex when looking inward, and a superiority complex when looking outward to those who haven't yet accepted their inferiority and dependence on God.

If you're in an evangelical sect, this is further compounded with the ever-present guilt for lacking the strength to bare witness to others (or pride if you're outgoing enough to pull it off). Perhaps an additional verse can touch on that subject. Suffice to say, however, these believes may leave you a self-loathing hypochondriac in one regard, and a leading role on stage in the other.